When We Are Old and Grey

When We Are Old and Grey

During the past few days, I got a chance to do a lot of reflecting, visualizing, imagining and soul searching. In the process, there were a lot of thoughts that came in to me. Some were thoughts that have always been there while some are new discoveries and some are thoughts of hope... hope for what I envision my life to be like.

In these thoughts, there were 3 things that were consistently present... and all these 3 things were always close together-- Me, my Nutbrown and Love.

In all these thoughts, there was never a time when she wasnt with me. There were never thoughts wherein she wasnt a part of it. She's always a part of my hopes and dreams just as much as I was a part of them. And in all those, it is love that
we felt and took us from one dream to another. My thoughts of love were those of the sense where the imperfections were the ones that made everything perfect for us. It wouldve been very unrealistic if all the thoughts I had were just of flowers, rainbows and unicorns. There were series of thoughts when we saw each other thru trials the same way that there were thoughts where empty hallways resounded with our laughter while we walked holding each other's hands tight. Some thoughts were of us taking care of each other at our weakest moments. There were also flashbacks of our virtual dates. One of which, I clearly remember. She took me on a carriage ride and showed me around Montreal. She asked me to close my eyes and as soon as I opened them, I found ourselves in a very beautiful church. I remember clearly how the very first tear on a date felt like. And how it was followed by more... It was the best date ever. Those tears were accompanied by smiles and beams on my face that I wish she had seen at that very moment. In the movie "City of Angels" there was a part where Nicholas Cage, the angel, asked Meg Ryan, who was a doctor why people cry. Her response was that sometimes, when our bodies are filled with so much emotions that it can no longer contain, that when we start to cry. At that moment, I knew that theory may be true. My heart was so full of bliss from my presence with her and at the same time my longing for her, and these emotions, I believe manifested into tears.

Just like all couples, we have our dates. Each very special in its own way. The other day we had our 3h date after a long time. I love how she always surprises me with impecable timing. I always tell her how I wish I can bottle up or frame every moment I have with her. But the more I internalize things, I realized that I think how we have it now beats all bottles and frames... My heart, mind and spirit and is consumed by thoughts of her... thoughts of me with her... thoughts of us together. I realize that when I have all these built-in within me, its way more realiable and lasts much longer than any bottles or frames. It's just like my heart and mind knows nothing else but to love her and think of her. And each thought of her, I absolutely love and adore.

If I were to illustrate the amount of thoughts I have of her in a day, the night sky with the moon and stars will not be enough. I always have infinite thoughts about the times I have with her whether these times are holidays, special occassions, or just regular days of the week. Afterall, she has a very special way of making ordinary days extra-ordinarily memorable. I look forward to a lifetime of these days with her as well as a lifetime of dates.

And when we are old and grey, while we have our Nutbrown dates, I know whether it would be hallways, churches or gardens, wherever it may be, it will still be resounding with our laughter while we walk together holding hands... with our canes on the other hand.


Cheers!!

~joyous =0)