iWrite
Yesterday, I got to chat with someone who has been a part of my life. In a very brief chat conversation, he asked me if I was writing a book. At first, my understanding of his question was that of his statement about him writing a book. When I asked him what the book is about, he said he meant to direct the question to me. Right away, I told him that I’m not writing a book and asked him why he thought I was. Shortly after my question, he said he had to go so unfortunately; we were not able to continue our chat.
After that, I had a lingering thought in mind. I thought to myself: “What if at some point of my life, I am able and get to write my own book?”. I have to admit I’ve dabbled into this idea quite a few times and I’m pretty sure that’s just the beginning. I know I’ll always wonder about it, if I never end up actually doing it. I know though I’m not a natural born writer. I remember struggling through my creative writing class back in grade school and barely passing. I don’t remember having the passion to write back then. Plus the class, being a creative writing class, I don’t think my creativity and imagination had been as elaborate and well developed as it is now. Back then, having to write something was considered merely a task that had to be completed for compliance’s sake. And up to now, writing for me just comes in urges. There are days when I get an unbearable urge to write about something I feel strongly about that it leaves me restless until I see something tangible that I can reference and revert my thoughts to. I guess today is just one of those days.
In some occasions, I think it’s a way for me to remind myself and help me remember some thoughts too important at that time to let it just breeze through me and let it slide off my back. Sometimes, I get a surge of thoughts. Whenever this happens, as much as possible, I try to pick out the good thoughts from it and try to put it in my “reservoir of good thoughts” to save for days when I need it the most. Unfortunately, as much as I’d want it to, my memory could fail me, which is why I think I find it necessary to have a certain type of “documentation” to make sure that the good thoughts don’t escape me. If I were to draw a picture of how it’s like, it would look very much like a single line monitor with captions moving across it from right to left. Pretty much like the monitors/signage that we have on highways, airports, and news channels, where the moving captions are my series of thoughts. There are even days when it may seem like a teleprompter instead of a single lined monitor.
I also feel as though writing for me is a transcription of my conversations with myself. When I try to talk myself through certain dilemmas, situations or even just getting a reaction and/or opinion from myself on different things. Of course, when I say conversations with myself, this also involves debating and possibly even contradicting myself, which by the way I think is perfectly fine. Whenever I catch myself having an “intrapersonal debate”, I think of it as my purging stage. I think in this stage, I come to a realization (or at least that’s what the intention is) on what is important and substantial to me on whatever the subject matter may be. I think through this, it helps me put things into perspective. And with each of these “conversations” I try to keep an open mind and keep the scrolls of thoughts coming.
Sometimes my writing is driven by intense inspiration. I don’t always know where the inspiration comes from but I think that sometimes the source of inspiration is a mix of different influences, experiences and realizations. Different things affect different people in different ways. Sometimes, what inspires us greatly are the simplest things and may be miniscule in scale for others. On the other hand, there are things that we take for granted and hardly pay attention to that would immensely be striking to others, which would then serve as a catalyst to what would inspire them. Either way, however big or small, inspiration affects us from within. And when something affects us enough, it brings out something that’s just waiting for a breakthrough. In my case, this comes out in a form of writing.
In a world where talking to one’s self is only acceptable for the clinically insane, I think writing things down is the next best thing… but that’s not to say I go along with the norm…I admit that I also have days when the urges are not limited to writing and the next best thing is just not enough and there is a need to speak…or talk…to myself!!
Cheers!!
~joyous =0)
