One Hand Friends

One Hand Friends

I want to start this off with a disclaimer… NO, this blog does not have anything to do with disabled friends or dismembered people. At least not for now… although I’m thinking maybe I should write about that too, but I’m saving that topic for later. As I go along, I hope I give anyone who’s reading this a better understanding for the title.... At least that’s the plan.

Recently, I was having lunch with my family at a restaurant. It was the day before my brother would start working. While eating my mom sat across me and my brother was sitting next to me. As usual, I’m the one who keeps talking to the extent that almost everyone is already done eating and I don’t think I’m even half way through. I asked my brother what his expectations and anticipations are. I explained to him that being in a work environment is completely different from being in school. Even the culture will be different, whether or not he has spent time with the people he’ll be working with during his practicum. I told him that the mind set of people who are working are very different from people who study or go on an internship. I gave him some advise in dealing with people from work, whether it be his superiors, coworkers, maintenance, or guards. I told him that he needs to make sure that he treats everybody well because those are the people he will be seeing day in and day out. Then we got into the topic where we started talking about friends at work. My mom jumped in the conversation right away which prompted me to ask her about her friends. My mom has always told me that she’s not one who has an overwhelming number of friends, but the friends that she has are the ones that are very dear to her and are very special people. She’s not the type who has friends from different groups of phases in her life. A lot, if not all of her friends now are the same people we’ve known since we were kids. There would be a few additions from time to time but her friends that we’ve known are the ones who’s been there every since.

I admire her relationship with her friends because I can see how much value they put into it. Seeing my mom with her friends also proved that you cant see value in numbers instead by the quality. Whenever I see my mom with her friends, I see bliss… and it’s almost like watching her experience her youth all over again. Of course, they don’t run around and play tag – nothing like that at all (because that’s something I would do!) but the enjoyment of each other’s company is very evident. Remembering those led to me ask my mom: “When you were younger, did you always know that your friends at that time would be the same friends you’ll have at your age now?”. My mom paused for a while and thought about it the answered “No, when we were younger, we didn’t know what was going to happen to us in the future. We didn’t know where we’ll be and how out lives are going to be like. But we knew we really liked each other’s company”. And her answer was very typical of her. She’s not a person who puts up with people and things she doesn’t really like. She’s not the type who would waste her time on anyone or anything. And I think that’s also a trait I got from her. Then she elaborated a little bit more on her answers. She told me that when she was a lot younger, she knew the kind of friends she wanted to have and she didn’t mind if she didn’t have as much friends as other people. She said that the few that she had were enough, more than enough actually. Because they treated each other like family and they really knew each other very well. Their love for each other was unconditional. Her family knew and loved her friends and vice versa. She and her friends looked out for each others like siblings would. They didn’t agree on every single thing, but the relationship they had were the kind where they can agree to disagree and respect each others opinions without dispute.

I told my mom that the friends I have now, are the ones that have I have been friends with since grade school/high school. These are also the same people who I pretty much grew up with and have been by my side through the highs and lows of my life. They are the same people who listened to me complain over the littlest things and also rave about the most amazing times of my life. Same people who I was with in school when we decided to carve our names on a mango tree from school with a promise that we would be friends forever. I told my mom that back then, I knew that they were going to be the friends that I will have and I will keep. I said that up until now, no matter how many new people and new friends come along, there’s something very distinct and special about them and that the bond is irreplaceable. She was very happy upon hearing it. She told me that I was very lucky that at such a young age, I was already able to recognize the quality of friendship I wanted. I said that these are the friends that our children (if/when I decide to have any) will get to know as “mom’s friends”, now that one by one, they are starting to get married. We get together from time to time, with every chance we get and truly, the feeling that I get with them is comparable to coming home. There’s always a warm feeling and the feeling that we’re safe with each other. It’s also amazing how after each get together, we text each other just to say “thank you” for a wonderful day/night, and it comes very natural to us. Something that isn’t forced or planned. Something second nature and comfortable.

I’ve always heard of the saying that true friends are hind to find, and that you can count those kinds of friends with your fingers. Well, I have 2 hands with 5 fingers on each hand and right now I know I have five friends I can call my true friends. I love my friends and although we don’t tell each other that, it is something communicated in a non verbal way. Something that does not need to be said and yet it’s understood. With that being said… unless I start growing more fingers on either or both hands, I know that the friends that I have now are more enough for the remaining of my lifetime. And hopefully, when my kids and I visit the mango tree that we carved our names on, the names that they will see there could be replaced with our childrens names but with the same promise of friendship that I had with my friends.

Arlene: Grade 4
Mars: Grade 6
Che/Almay: Grade 7
Ivy : 2nd Yr HS

Cheers!!

~joyous =0)