Just One
Just recently, I had a few very interesting conversations with my close friends. After going out to dinner, we went to another friend’s house to hang out and just spend time together. My friend talk to us about her wedding plans as she and her future husband have chosen the date. We reminisced on their relationship. How it came about, how it progressed and where they are now. I found it very fascinating how fate just brings people together and how having the right person turn you into the perfect person for them. I’ve always believed that somewhere in this world, there is someone meant just for us. And we may not be all that perfect but in time, we are molded to be the person that would be perfect for the other. I understand that there is no such thing as the perfect person, but I believe that we can be the best person for another. How this all happens, is a completely different topic, which I plan to tackle next time.
In one of the conversations we had, we talked about what we want in a relationship. We all had our ideal relationships and we backtracked on previous relationships that we had. One of my friends talked about how much importance she puts on having her parents’ and family’s blessings on the relationship. I share the same value as her because I think everything eventually falls into place once the people we care the most about supports the relationship that we are in. Should problems, conflicts, and dilemmas come into play, we are sure that when we seek our family’s help, they are sure to give the advice that would be for our best interest. Then my other friend talked about the simplicity of her relationship and how it both works for her and her boyfriend. I think they are a very lucky couple because these days, relationships get more and more complicated as more factors starts to come in. I am very happy that they both manage to keep the relationship simple and real. I think this is something that more couples should strive for. I believe that the simpler the relationship is, the easier it is to manage. This is very easy to say but probably the hardest to do because I think that keeping a relationship simple needs a lot of trust, faith, honestly, respect and hope that everything will be going to be what we want it to be. My friend said that her boyfriend told her that he just wanted to be someone’s favorite person in the world. I was so moved upon hearing this, because just by that, it completely made sense… it all came together… I think that was partly how their relationship was kept simple… and yet, it meant so much!
After that night, I started to wonder and ask myself: What do I want for and from a relationship? How would I know if the person I will fall in love with is the person I want to be in a relationship with? How would I know if I’m ready for a relationship?
I think being someone’s favorite is a good start. I mean, you’d want the person you’ll be in a relationship with to think the world of you. Then I had this thought… just recently, one of my friends told me that I was the best thing that happened to her. It was very flattering to hear this. Not only because it feeds just about every aspect of someone’s ego but at the same time, it makes me believe that I’m doing someone good and something right. To have that effect on someone is very rewarding and fulfilling. I think just to be able to have an impact on someone’s life is already good… all the more if you’re the best that can happen to someone. Then I thought to myself, if it were someone else and not my friend who told me that, was that enough to make me want to be in a relationship with that person. After putting in more thoughts into it, I realized… probably not. Being the best thing to happen in someone’s life is good, but if I’m looking for a relationship that would work for me, I don’t think it would be with a person as such. The reason being with that kind of relationship, much is expected. When you become that person to another, I feel like you will constantly have to out do yourself.. because being the best is relative. One is only the best until they become second best. I think this is true not just in relationships but life in general. We see this a lot in sporting events, on people’s careers, award giving bodies, businesses, art, in practically everything around us. So I thought, for the other person, of course it is only logical for them to want to be in a relationship with someone who’s the best for them, but for the person itself, it might be difficult because of the level of expectation that has already been set even before the relationship has started. I believe that every disappointment is inversely proportional to the expectation.
Then another thought came into mind…. I thought, would I want to be in a relationship with the person who would do just about anything and everything for me. I heard a song from a boy band who talks about how they would do anything and everything for the person they love. At the initial thought, I was thinking, being with a person like that will be really good because I think it is a guarantee that they will at least try to meet all your expectations. But thinking about it more made me realize that although the perks one will be getting from this kind of relationship will be exemplary, I’m not quite sure where the relationship will be heading a few years down the road. I think with this kind of relationship, there wont be a balance and it wouldn’t look like a give and take relationship. And looks to me that it is a set up leaning towards a parasitic relationship rather than mutualism. With that thought in mind, I realized that I definitely would not want that kind of relationship, whether or not I am on a receiving end. Simply because I believe that with everything and everyone, there is a limit. No one can continue to be the giver in a relationship if you are going for “forever”. Even Aladdin was limited to only 3 wishes from the Genie.
Finally, I realized maybe I’m not ready for a relationship yet because I don’t know what I want. This, I think is very probable. I think some people make the mistake of jumping from one relationship to another just for the sake of being in a relationship. I know quite a few people who feel incomplete if they are not in a relationship with someone. It’s as if their happiness and contentment relies on the happiness and satisfaction they can give their artner and vice versa. I’ve always been very comfortable not being in a relationship, not only out of default but because I think highly of relationships and I think that our love life at present is exactly what we need at least for the time being. I see relationships as emotional investments, when the risks are high, we never gamble unless we are ready for a lost. But when we see an opportunity, we can go all in if we are aiming for a high profit. Then with this thought, I had a “somewhat Eureka!” moment. Instantly, I figured out what I wanted for my next relationship…. Or should I say my hypothetical relationship (at least for now). I think having this in mind, I would like to be with someone whom I can beat the odds with. I want someone whom I can feel the sunshine with when it rains. I want someone who will make me feel like its Christmas on Lent. Someone who will still want to go over the rainbow with me even if we both know that there wont be a pot of gold at the end of it. Someone who keeps me warm in the winter and will be the cool wind in the summer. Someone who will hand me my sneakers and tell me it’s alright when my feet start to hurt from wearing stiletto heels. Someone who wouldn’t mind lighting a single candle in the dark instead of the chandelier. And when I give that person a thousand reasons why I think our relationship couldn’t and wouldn’t work, that person would give me just one reason why they think it would. And with that one reason, all my thousand reasons will fade away and I will realize that all I need is one to make everything work out, and with fate on our side, it will!!! Just One reason… with no doubts, no questions, no hesitations.
Just recently, I had a few very interesting conversations with my close friends. After going out to dinner, we went to another friend’s house to hang out and just spend time together. My friend talk to us about her wedding plans as she and her future husband have chosen the date. We reminisced on their relationship. How it came about, how it progressed and where they are now. I found it very fascinating how fate just brings people together and how having the right person turn you into the perfect person for them. I’ve always believed that somewhere in this world, there is someone meant just for us. And we may not be all that perfect but in time, we are molded to be the person that would be perfect for the other. I understand that there is no such thing as the perfect person, but I believe that we can be the best person for another. How this all happens, is a completely different topic, which I plan to tackle next time.
In one of the conversations we had, we talked about what we want in a relationship. We all had our ideal relationships and we backtracked on previous relationships that we had. One of my friends talked about how much importance she puts on having her parents’ and family’s blessings on the relationship. I share the same value as her because I think everything eventually falls into place once the people we care the most about supports the relationship that we are in. Should problems, conflicts, and dilemmas come into play, we are sure that when we seek our family’s help, they are sure to give the advice that would be for our best interest. Then my other friend talked about the simplicity of her relationship and how it both works for her and her boyfriend. I think they are a very lucky couple because these days, relationships get more and more complicated as more factors starts to come in. I am very happy that they both manage to keep the relationship simple and real. I think this is something that more couples should strive for. I believe that the simpler the relationship is, the easier it is to manage. This is very easy to say but probably the hardest to do because I think that keeping a relationship simple needs a lot of trust, faith, honestly, respect and hope that everything will be going to be what we want it to be. My friend said that her boyfriend told her that he just wanted to be someone’s favorite person in the world. I was so moved upon hearing this, because just by that, it completely made sense… it all came together… I think that was partly how their relationship was kept simple… and yet, it meant so much!
After that night, I started to wonder and ask myself: What do I want for and from a relationship? How would I know if the person I will fall in love with is the person I want to be in a relationship with? How would I know if I’m ready for a relationship?
I think being someone’s favorite is a good start. I mean, you’d want the person you’ll be in a relationship with to think the world of you. Then I had this thought… just recently, one of my friends told me that I was the best thing that happened to her. It was very flattering to hear this. Not only because it feeds just about every aspect of someone’s ego but at the same time, it makes me believe that I’m doing someone good and something right. To have that effect on someone is very rewarding and fulfilling. I think just to be able to have an impact on someone’s life is already good… all the more if you’re the best that can happen to someone. Then I thought to myself, if it were someone else and not my friend who told me that, was that enough to make me want to be in a relationship with that person. After putting in more thoughts into it, I realized… probably not. Being the best thing to happen in someone’s life is good, but if I’m looking for a relationship that would work for me, I don’t think it would be with a person as such. The reason being with that kind of relationship, much is expected. When you become that person to another, I feel like you will constantly have to out do yourself.. because being the best is relative. One is only the best until they become second best. I think this is true not just in relationships but life in general. We see this a lot in sporting events, on people’s careers, award giving bodies, businesses, art, in practically everything around us. So I thought, for the other person, of course it is only logical for them to want to be in a relationship with someone who’s the best for them, but for the person itself, it might be difficult because of the level of expectation that has already been set even before the relationship has started. I believe that every disappointment is inversely proportional to the expectation.
Then another thought came into mind…. I thought, would I want to be in a relationship with the person who would do just about anything and everything for me. I heard a song from a boy band who talks about how they would do anything and everything for the person they love. At the initial thought, I was thinking, being with a person like that will be really good because I think it is a guarantee that they will at least try to meet all your expectations. But thinking about it more made me realize that although the perks one will be getting from this kind of relationship will be exemplary, I’m not quite sure where the relationship will be heading a few years down the road. I think with this kind of relationship, there wont be a balance and it wouldn’t look like a give and take relationship. And looks to me that it is a set up leaning towards a parasitic relationship rather than mutualism. With that thought in mind, I realized that I definitely would not want that kind of relationship, whether or not I am on a receiving end. Simply because I believe that with everything and everyone, there is a limit. No one can continue to be the giver in a relationship if you are going for “forever”. Even Aladdin was limited to only 3 wishes from the Genie.
Finally, I realized maybe I’m not ready for a relationship yet because I don’t know what I want. This, I think is very probable. I think some people make the mistake of jumping from one relationship to another just for the sake of being in a relationship. I know quite a few people who feel incomplete if they are not in a relationship with someone. It’s as if their happiness and contentment relies on the happiness and satisfaction they can give their artner and vice versa. I’ve always been very comfortable not being in a relationship, not only out of default but because I think highly of relationships and I think that our love life at present is exactly what we need at least for the time being. I see relationships as emotional investments, when the risks are high, we never gamble unless we are ready for a lost. But when we see an opportunity, we can go all in if we are aiming for a high profit. Then with this thought, I had a “somewhat Eureka!” moment. Instantly, I figured out what I wanted for my next relationship…. Or should I say my hypothetical relationship (at least for now). I think having this in mind, I would like to be with someone whom I can beat the odds with. I want someone whom I can feel the sunshine with when it rains. I want someone who will make me feel like its Christmas on Lent. Someone who will still want to go over the rainbow with me even if we both know that there wont be a pot of gold at the end of it. Someone who keeps me warm in the winter and will be the cool wind in the summer. Someone who will hand me my sneakers and tell me it’s alright when my feet start to hurt from wearing stiletto heels. Someone who wouldn’t mind lighting a single candle in the dark instead of the chandelier. And when I give that person a thousand reasons why I think our relationship couldn’t and wouldn’t work, that person would give me just one reason why they think it would. And with that one reason, all my thousand reasons will fade away and I will realize that all I need is one to make everything work out, and with fate on our side, it will!!! Just One reason… with no doubts, no questions, no hesitations.
Cheers!!
~joyous =0)
